For Mommy

"God could not be everywhere, therefore he created mothers."
 
  - Jewish Proverb


Yesterday my mother graduated with honors with her degree in culinary arts/restaurant management.  Owning/operating a restaurant has always been her dream; now that goal is fully within her reach.  To say that I’m proud of her would be a huge understatement.  Her hard work, dedication and commitment are admirable.  She’s a testament to the belief that it’s never too late to pursue your goals.

As usual, she didn’t want a fuss made over her; it’s not her way.  But that didn’t stop my siblings and me, along with other family members, from showering her with love and support, which she so greatly deserves. 

Call me biased, but my mother (whom I still refer to as Mommy) is one of the kindest persons one could ever meet: encouraging, giving, and wise beyond belief.  Her insight has helped me on more occasions than a few – especially lately – as I navigate through my own adventures in motherhood. 

I would be lying if I said that we were always so close.  We’ve had a typical mother-daughter relationship with ups and downs.  But now that I’m older, and have walked a mile or so in her shoes, I understand better where she’s coming from.  Better yet, I see her as more than just Mommy, but as a woman.

Do you remember the day you discovered that your mother is “human,” with her own hopes, dreams and fears? 

For some, it may be unimaginable that one’s mother is simply a woman trying to do her best, especially when so much is expected of her… to always know the correct answer, to constantly do the right thing, and, when all else fails, to turn bad situations into good ones.  But it’s true what they say: “Parenthood doesn’t come with an owner’s manual.”  Yet mothers do the best they can with what they have, and make provisions along the way.    

Looking back, I can certainly recall sacrifices my mother made for the good of others, often putting her own needs last.  Perhaps you can relate.  At the time, I thought that was what mothers were supposed to do, but now – as a mother myself – I realize how profound those actions were.  She believed in us tremendously and wanted us to succeed… as any good mother does. But now, after many years of hard work, she is finally in a position to put herself first and make her own dreams come true.  And I couldn’t be happier for her.

So on this Mother’s Day, I celebrate mothers everywhere who work tirelessly, often without the appreciation they deserve.  And to my mother in particular, thank you.  I’m so very proud of you.

What have you learned about your mother over the years?

You, Inc.

“… I am the master of my fate… the captain of my soul.”

-          William Earnest Henley

Recently, I was sitting with my 16-year-old son helping to develop his goals for the next few years.   His desires are typical of most boys his age… getting a job, having a car, and graduating from high school.   We’ve discussed these things many times, but now that he’s approaching adulthood, I thought it was important for him to take some ownership and realize that his actions – and inactions – determine whether his goals will be met, rather than assuming/hoping/wishing that his wants will magically materialize out of thin air. 

As we broke each goal down into manageable steps, I explained, “This is how companies get from point A to point B.” Not surprisingly, he rolled his eyes and said, “I’m not a business.”  To that I replied, “Your life IS your business… and you’re the CEO.”  His reaction was priceless: “I never thought about it that way.”

Have you?

As a young girl, I certainly didn’t feel that my life was my own.  Looking back, I recall wanting desperately to be liked, and doing things simply to fit in and gain others’ approval.  I’ve learned a thing or two since then, including the fact that you can’t live your life for someone else. 

Hands down, the best day of my life was when I finally realized that I was always good enough, that I define me, and that I have the power to live the life I choose.  For me, that day came in my early 30s; for some it arrives sooner, for others much later.  This realization opened up a world of possibilities I hadn’t dared to consider – probably for fear of never achieving them.  But now I have the courage to try, and that’s half the battle.

Though my son isn’t yet on his own, he liked the prospect of being in control of his own life.  But being “the man” (or “the woman”) comes with responsibilities as well.  Just as corporate CEOs decide which opportunities to capitalize on and which to avoid, we must do the same in order to move to the next level, carefully weighing risks and rewards.  And, just like in business, the best laid plans sometimes go awry.  But a good CEO takes responsibility for the results – good or bad – no excuses, no one to blame.

So if there’s something in your life that you’ve been contemplating, which could take you to the next level, I encourage you to weigh it out, pray over it, and if the gains outweigh the challenges, give it a try.  And in the end, remember that you – as CEO of your own life – have the power to make it happen. 

Your comments are welcome.