Confronting Fear

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.”

-       Unknown

A few weeks ago, someone tried - unsuccessfully - to break into my house.  Upon discovery, my first inclination was anger.  Home invasions have been rampant in Indianapolis for a while, but I live in a “good” neighborhood, right?  And I never do anything to hurt anyone… so why would someone want to violate me that way? 

Once the anger subsided, in walked fear; I didn’t sleep well for several nights.  Every creak or strong wind generated illusions that someone was trying to get in.  And I wasn’t sure how to go about my days.  Should I stay out in case they came back, or was it best to be home in order to protect what’s mine? 

    

And then it dawned on me.  I was allowing this incident to control me.  Though my fear was justifiable, allowing it to regulate my thoughts and actions was not.  But that’s precisely what I was doing.

How often do we allow fear – of the unknown, of failure, of reliving the past – to hold us back? 

Fear has a way of manifesting “what if” scenarios that can be debilitating.  But rather than falling prey to your fears, we must face them head-on.  The first step is to ask yourself what it is that scares you about a situation.  Now, consider what power you have to create a favorable outcome.  For example, research indicates that women tend to fear negotiations.  We would sooner settle for what’s offered than speak up for what we deserve, for fear of confrontation.  But confrontations don’t have to be confrontational… so rather than focusing on the negative aspects, concentrate on the reasons you deserve more and state them assertively – not passively and certainly not aggressively (this is a lesson I recently learned and guess what – it actually works!). 

I’m sure you can think of other examples as well… fear of loving again, fear of letting go, fear of moving forward… the list goes on and on.  Fear is a natural emotion that we all feel from time to time, but the question is, Will you remain there?   

As for me, I’ve taken all of the necessary precautions to protect my home from another intruder.  But I’ve also decided to go about my life as I normally would, because stealing my possessions is one thing, but robbing me of the ability to live my life the way I choose is altogether another.

If fear is currently holding you back from what you desire, I encourage you to confront it in order to move past it. 

Be safe… Your comments are welcome.