Mastering Life's Lessons

“Everybody has a story.  And there’s something to be learned from every experience.”

-          Oprah Winfrey

We are all a work in progress.  That much is for sure.  And the longer we live the more we learn… about ourselves, each other and the world around us.  As I write this, I am reminded of several lessons I’ve learned in the past few months, and the people who helped me achieve those realizations. 

On January 1, Oprah Winfrey launched aptly titled “OWN,” the Oprah Winfrey Network, which – in line with the Oprah brand – broadcasts programs to uplift, inspire and encourage viewers to live their very best lives.  One program in particular, called Master Class, has truly resonated with me.  Each week, the show features one celebrity that is considered an expert in his or her field.  He/she allows the audience a rare glimpse into the fundamental values, beliefs and life lessons that make him/her a master in their own right.  Thus far, the program has featured world-renowned writer and poet Maya Angelou, entertainment mogul Simon Cowell, rapper/entrepreneur Jay-Z, and television journalist Diane Sawyer.  Initially, I was eager to hear the wisdom of Maya Angelou and intrigued by Diane Sawyer, whom I knew very little about.  But I’ll admit that I was less interested in Jay-Z and Simon Cowell – not because they’re men – but because their arrogance and opulence (in my opinion) had told me all I needed to know about them.  But I decided to keep an open mind… and yes, I stand corrected.  What you see is not necessarily what you get, because each was just as intriguing as the next.  I’m glad to share their insights which are as unique and varied as each of these individuals:

“Live your life in a way that you will not regret years of useless virtue.” – Maya Angelou

“Have confidence in what you know.  If it’s not your expertise, just say ‘I don’t know.’” – Simon Cowell

“Failure is a great teacher.  If you’re open to it, every mistake has a lesson in it.” – Jay-Z

"Whenever you are blue or lonely or stricken by some humiliating thing you did, the cure and the hope is in caring about other people."  - Diane Sawyer

So what’s the lesson?  There is much to be learned from others, but if we refuse to listen to those who look, act or think differently than we do, we may miss out on valuable lessons.  This week’s Master Class is on Lorne Michaels, creator of Saturday Night Live.  Don’t know much about the man, but I’m sure I will be as pleasantly surprised by what I learn as I was with the others.  I invite you to do the same.

What have you learned from an unlikely source?

The Go-Giver

“You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself.”

-          Harvey S. Firestone

I created Living Her Purpose, LLC from the notion that we have all been through something – be it good or bad – that shapes who we are today and strive to be tomorrow.  These lessons not only help us to “do better next time” but can have a residual effect if we’re willing to share our experiences with others. 

To that end, I recently completed a book that exemplifies the power of giving, called “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann.  The story depicts a typical go-getter – bright, ambitious, and self-centered – who is desperate to land a big client.  Accordingly, he seeks the advice of a successful businessman who shares his Five Laws for Success.  Much to the go-getter’s surprise, these ideals have little to do with pursuing clients.  Instead, they center on the concept of receiving by giving selflessly.   I found these principles invaluable… In classic Living-Her-Purpose fashion, I share them in hope that they are beneficial to you as well. 

·         The Law of Value: Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than how much you take in payment.  Successful people have passion for what they do, which shines through in their work.  While compensation is important, these individuals focus more on giving the very best of themselves and their products, services and ideas, in order to benefit those they serve.   

·         The Law of Compensation: Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.  If you want more success, find a way to serve more people.  It’s that simple.

·         The Law of Influence: Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.  Stop looking out for self exclusively.  Assist others in their pursuits without keeping track of who owes whom.  You will inevitably receive help from others when you need it most.

·         The Law of Authenticity: The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.  People do business with people, typically those that they consider genuine.  Regardless of your line of work, ten percent is training and the rest is you. 

·         The Law of Receptivity: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.  You should expect to receive as a result of giving, though this is not the primary objective.  As we give, someone receives.  In time the same will apply for you. 

Now that this knowledge has been shared, please continue the go-giver mantra and pass it on to someone else.  As the Laws prescribe, doing so sets the stage for great things to come back to you. 

Your comments are welcome.

Empowerment Club

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

-       Eleanor Roosevelt

Several weeks ago, I blogged about an empowerment workshop that my mother and I attended called “Life by Design,” led by dynamic speaker and author Cynthia Newman (see “What’s Holding You Back?” posted Nov 17, 2010).  The program allowed each attendee to clarify our dreams, identify what’s standing in our way, and create a plan to achieve our goals. If you’ve ever attended such an event, you know how fired up you feel when it’s over… ready to take on the world!  But if those plans are not immediately executed or kept top-of-mind, they soon fade and you may end up right back where you started.  So my mother, the wise woman that she is, suggested that I host a follow-up meeting early in the New Year to discuss the group’s progress and challenges, and to encourage one another to continue on our paths toward living our best lives.   Motivating girls and women to fulfill their dreams is a passion of mine, so of course I accepted!  The first “Empowerment Club” meeting was held in my home today, and I’m proud to say that it was a success!  What’s more, the event marked my mother’s catering debut, which is a dream of hers.  As the ladies and I discussed our progress and pitfalls since we last met – and enjoyed my mother’s fabulous food – I realized how important it is to have positive people in your life who believe in your ability to fulfill your dreams as much as you do. 

Who would you include in your Empowerment Club?

You’ve heard that old adage about “the company you keep.”  I remind my two boys almost daily that hanging with the wrong people usually leads to trouble.  In some cases “wrong” means “bad” but it can also mean “negative,” so we have to be careful about the people we allow into our inner circle.  Conversely, forging relationships with people who are positive, uplifting, and genuinely hold our best interest can propel us to greater heights.  Your Empowerment Club may consist of just one person or several, and be as formal or informal as you choose.  Size and formality are not important.  The idea is simply to receive encouragement as you encourage others.  This is important because even when you feel like giving up, or fear that your dreams will never happen, your Empowerment Club will empower you to keep at it until your dreams are a reality. 

Your comments are welcome.

Making a Difference

"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can."

-          Sydney Smith

Life can be tough.  Lost jobs, senseless violence, home foreclosures… With so much going on in the world today, I’ve heard many say that they avoid news programs because all that is reported is bad news.  That’s why I was pleasantly surprised to discover a segment called “Making a Difference,” which is broadcast at the end of the NBC Nightly News each weekday.  Some feature corporations and nonprofit organizations that are doing their part to better the lives of others, but most highlight ordinary Americans – just like you and me – who see a problem and deliver a solution to help people in extraordinary ways.  Following are a few of my favorites:

·    Mackenzie Bearup, a teenager from Alpharetta, Georgia, suffered a debilitating knee injury that left her bedridden for weeks.  To pass the time and escape the pain, she poured herself into books, which spawned an idea… to help other children escape tough situations – even if only for a while – through literature.  She founded Sheltering Books (ShelteringBooks.org), which donates books to children in homeless shelters.  Her initial goal was to gain and distribute 300 books; to date she’s handed out more than 50,000, and counting. 

·    Marlo Manning is the founder of Fairy Dog Parents (FairyDogParents.org), a nonprofit organization dedicated to preventing Massachusetts dog owners, hard-hit by the recession, from having to give up their dogs because they can no longer afford to feed and care for them.  Marlo lost her own beloved dog after a long illness and didn’t want others – particularly those in tough financial situations – to go through the same.  In 2009 (year of inception), her goal was to help 3 dogs.  Instead, she aided 27, and 71 have been served to date.  In Marlo’s words, “People say [that] when you find what you’re meant to do, you’ll know it.  And this is without a doubt… what I’m meant to do.”

·    For her 50^th birthday, Rachel O’Neil and her husband embarked on an African safari.  While in Uganda and Malawi, she noticed the torn and tattered clothing of the children there, and wanted to help.  Back at home in Trenton, Michigan, she formed a women’s group to sew dresses for the girls.  Word quickly spread and before long, boxes of dresses from across the US arrived at her home.  Thus far, she has distributed 100,000 dresses to girls in 16 countries, including the US.  She now sends pants to boys as well.

These women are living examples of what is possible when we couple our passion with execution.  What’s important to remember is that it is not the size of the gift or the number of people served, as long as the intention is to make a difference, even for just one person.  I wish you the very best in this New Year.

How will you make a difference in 2011?