Flipping the Script

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

-          Henry Ford

Lately I have been reading a powerful book, Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck, which has positively changed the way I feel about what is possible.  The book centers on helping individuals discover who they truly are in order to tap into and live the lives they deserve to lead.  One section in particular caught my attention…

Once upon a time there were two women who lived very different lives… One had controlling parents, few close friends, couldn’t establish a long-term romantic relationship, barely made it through college, and worked a stressful job with long hours.  The other woman came from a family who cared deeply about her happiness, had a close-knit group of good friends, experienced one romance after another, was admitted to an elite graduate program, and later landed her dream job.

At cursory glance, it seems the second woman led a better existence.  But guess what: The two women are actually one in the same.  The only difference is the way she chose to see her own life.  I like to call this phenomenon flipping the script … telling your story in a way that celebrates the heroine in you, rather than the victim.  I am not suggesting that you see every situation with rose-colored glasses, but rather than wallowing in self-pity over what could have been, how about looking at the beauty of what is…

The author suggests an exercise that will help you flip your script.  Write a brief time line of the major events of your life.  Now read it.  What story are you telling?  One of woe, hardship and despair; or one of courage, perseverance and determination?  If the former, rewrite it, this time recognizing that while you’ve made mistakes, you’ve also learned valuable lessons; and though you’ve met tough challenges, you have also successfully navigated your way through them. 

And while we’re on this subject, please be aware that others can negatively flip your script, and taint how you see your own life due to what they’ve been through – if you allow them to.  As I’ve dealt with this first-hand, I finally came to realize that often, people perceive things as they are, not necessarily as you are.  And what’s more, some people are just never happy unless someone else is unhappy.  So, surround yourself with positive things, people and experiences that contribute to your personal growth, to keep you moving in the right direction.  In the words of the author, Ms. Beck, “Most people think they’ll believe in their own potential for success when they see it; the truth is you’ll see it the very instant you decide to believe it.”

Your comments are welcome.