Architects for Change

“… be the change you wish to see…”

-          Mahatma Gandhi

As mentioned in last week’s blog entry, “Living the Dream,” I attended a tremendous women’s conference this past week in Long Beach, California.  The speakers – including Michelle Obama, Maria Shriver, Paula Deen, Mary J. Blige, Martha Beck, Tony Robbins, Sally Field, and Deepak Chopra – echoed the conference’s theme, “It’s Time…” and called for the 30,000 women in attendance to be architects for change in our own lives.

The highlight of the event was the Minerva Awards, where 5 distinguished women were honored for their service to humanity, including The Honorable Sandra Day O’Connor and my personal role model Oprah Winfrey.  They need no introduction… both are known not only for all they’ve accomplished in law and media/entertainment (respectively), but also for redefining what women are capable of achieving.  As awe-struck as I was to be in the company of these remarkable women, it was the selflessness and leadership of the other 3 lesser-known award recipients that really moved me.

Carolyn Blashek, heartbroken by the events of 9/11, wanted to help in the war effort, but was too old to enlist.  As she thought about the soldiers – who were thousands of miles from home – she remembered the joy her children felt from receiving care packages while away at summer camp.  “Operation Gratitude,” the nation’s largest civilian military aid organization, was born!  To date, over 550,000 packages filled with toiletries, music, DVDs, sweets and love have been sent to soldiers overseas, each with a personal letter of thanks from the organization’s thousands of volunteers. 

Oral Lee Brown, aka “Mama Brown,” was a teacher in a tough Oakland, California school district.  Touched by a student with huge potential but little support, she pledged to her entire class that if they maintained at least a C average and stayed out of trouble through high school, she would put them through college.  Ms. Brown made good on that promise and has since formed the “Oral Lee Brown Foundation” which targets, mentors and provides full college tuition to at-risk youth in the Oakland area.  Today, the foundation has aided almost 200 students, and counting.

Sister Terry Dodge works tirelessly to rehabilitate women as they leave the prison system.  She believes that without essential skills for survival “on the outside,” most will inevitably be re-incarcerated.  Ms. Dodge runs “Crossroads” in Claremont, California which provides substance abuse programs, reading and writing skills, job-readiness assistance, personal banking know-how, and essential training on how to engage in communal living, cook and socialize.  She does not judge the women for their prior misdeeds, but rather encourages them to look forward to a brighter tomorrow.

I’m sure you can see why I was so enthralled by these extraordinary architects for change!  Their stories remind each of us that we do indeed have the power to be the change we wish to see.

You can view The Minerva Awards at www.WomensConference.org.

Your comments are welcome.

Living The Dream

“Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll fall among the stars.”

-          Unknown

Last night I arrived in Long Beach, CA to attend the 10th Annual Women's Conference, presented by the First Lady of California, Maria Shriver.  The two-day event (Oct 25 & 26) will feature a host of dynamic speakers including Michelle Obama, Suze Orman, Tony Robbins, Dr. Oz, Laura Bush, Jillian Michaels, Rodney and Holly Robinson-Peete – my personal favorites Martha Beck, Mary J. Blige and Oprah Winfrey – and dozens more.  The event’s theme, “It’s Time…” is a call for all women to identify and fulfill their passions in order to live life to its fullest.  I’m so excited I can barely contain myself!

At LAX (airport), I was greeted by a huge sign that said, “Welcome to Los Angeles, where dreams are made.”  I couldn’t help but smile, thinking of my personal passions and all that I hope to accomplish in my lifetime.    

What are your dreams? 

We’ve all been asked the question, “What would you do if you didn’t have to work?”  But have you ever considered that you can turn your passions into your day job?  I’ve had the pleasure of working with a few women who have done just that.  Allow me to introduce them:

JoDee Curtis was the human resources director at my previous employer and recently launched her own human capital consulting firm, Purple Ink, LLC (www.PurpleInkLLC.com), which helps companies to find creative solutions to business issues by specializing in retention, recruiting, training, benefits and compensation, and speaking engagements.

Cindy Dunston-Quirk, a current colleague of mine, is passionate about her dogs, Scout and Zoe – so much so that she launched a business that produces and sells allergy-free, organic chews for dogs that are afflicted by the same conditions as hers.  Scout&Zoe’s (www.ScoutAndZoes.com) has been featured in local media publications as well as PeoplePets.com (a subsidiary of People Magazine).

Katharine (Kate) Oberreich curates for and manages the daily operations of a program that invites those touched by cancer to express their emotions via art and narrative, which is in line with this young entrepreneur’s passions as she runs her own studio (www.KateOberreich.com), creating mixed media art which often reflects personal journeys. 

It’s always inspiring to see women like JoDee, Cindy and Kate step out and pursue their passions.  And I encourage you to do the same. 

As for me, today I’m going to bask in the California sun, and prepare to be educated and inspired by the events of the next two days.  If you are interested, you may view the Women’s Conference live on Monday 8:30am-2:30 pm PDT, and Tuesday 8am-7pm PDT, at www.WomensConference.org.  The site contains agendas for the various sessions and speakers.  Look out for me in the audience… I’ll be the one up front… taking it all in… as I continue this journey to live out my dreams.

Letter to Your Younger Self

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to give something back.”

-          Maya Angelou

As a follow-up to last week’s topic, “Advice, from You to You,” I’d like to continue the subject of following our own best advice.  Awhile ago I happened upon an article titled “Letter to Your Younger Self” by Phylicia Rashad (aka Claire Huxtable from Cosby Show fame) in Oprah Magazine.  In her letter, Ms. Rashad expressed what she wished her 21-year-old-self had known at the time:

Dear Phylicia,

Romantic involvement distracts you and can blind you to what's really in front of you. And what really is in front of you? You are. You don't even know yourself yet. You think you know and you want to assert that you do, now that you're a certain age, but you don't. What's in front of you is a whole world of experiences beyond your imagination. Put yourself, and your growth and development, first. There are long-term repercussions to what you're doing now. Everything you do, every thought you have, every word you say creates a memory that you will hold in your body. It's imprinted on you and affects you in subtle ways—ways you are not always aware of. With that in mind, be very conscious and selective.

With high hopes for you,
Phylicia

What do you know about yourself now that you wish you had known when you were younger?  Would it have saved you time, grief and frustration later in life? 

I’m not suggesting that any of us should regret the decisions we’ve made thus far.  Those choices have shaped each of us into the people that we are today, and may work to our advantage if we’re willing to learn lessons from them, and do better next time. 

But I do suggest that if you’ve been through tough experiences, and made it victoriously to the other side, don’t sit on it.  Share your new-found knowledge with a girl or woman who may need it, such as a daughter, niece or close friend.  It’s true that some life lessons have to be learned first-hand, but if you reach out, you never know who you may touch in a positive way.

So what would I say to my younger self?  I’d tell her that she’s stronger than she knows and can handle any obstacle in her way, because God is in her corner.  I’d remind her that no man’s attention can match the feeling that comes from having a strong sense of self.  And I’d tell her to stop worrying so much, because it will be okay.    

If you had the chance, what would you tell your younger self?

Advice, from You to You

"You have to remember the value of your individuality; that you have something different to offer that no one else can.”

-          Jennifer Lopez

This fall, I am again leading a mentoring program that promotes self esteem, character development, and educational excellence for middle school girls ages 11 to 14.  This week’s topic, “I Define Me,” allowed the girls to identify the traits and characteristics that make each of them unique.  Their responses ran the gamut from Smart and Funny to Headstrong and Sassy.  Regardless of the words they chose, they were encouraged to be proud of who they are, to listen to their intuition for doing the right thing, and to allow no one to derail their dreams. 

Personally, I think that the topic “I Define Me” is profound.  Even as adults, we often allow others to define who we are.  And if we’re not careful, others’ definitions may manifest in our actions, based on our past, our own insecurities, or others’ expectations.  As I listened to the girls, I thought about my 14-year-old-self, how I may have defined myself at the time, and the actions that followed.  Adolescence can be a confusing time for many, as girls learn who they are and their place in the world.   

Toward the end of the day, I shared a passage from one of my favorite books, Letters to a Young Sister, by Hill Harper.  It includes advice, both from Hill’s male perspective and several female celebrities, to young girls as they begin to make important life decisions.  The passage, by acclaimed actress Alfre Woodard, advises young girls to listen to their own best advice by thinking of themselves in third-person.  Considering that it’s often easier to give good advice to someone else, rather than following our own, I hoped that the girls would take Ms. Woodard’s words to heart:

“As you navigate your way through life, you are increasingly in charge of your own choices.  You are becoming a young woman but that little girl you once were will remain a part of who you are… When you respect yourself, you are giving that Precious-Little-Girl-Self [inside of you] the encouragement and protection she deserves.  Say you were taking care of a little girl.  How would you treat her?  You would defend her from anyone who would seek to exploit, demean, or devalue her.  You would certainly steer her away from others who would belittle her dreams.  You would be there to reinforce her image of self, by reminding her of how powerful she is when she follows her intuition for doing the right thing… That little girl lives inside of you.  She always will.  Her well-being and sense of self depends on you…”

Each of us has the power to define ourselves, and choose the path that is uniquely right for us.  I encourage you to share this advice with a young girl in your life as she navigates her way toward self definition. 

Your comments are welcome.

Broadening Your Horizons

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb.  It’s where all the fruit is.”

-          Shirley MacLaine

I love to travel.  Chicago, Miami, DC, San Francisco, Houston, Vegas… you name it, I’ve been there.  And anyone who knows me well can attest that my soul was born in New York City… any excuse to go there will do.  Though I haven’t yet ventured much outside the country, I’ve discovered that the US has some pretty interesting and diverse cities… which are just a plane ride away.   

One of my work responsibilities is to visit sales reps across the US to assess how we can provide better programs and services.  In the past, I have always chosen cities that fit my personality: major metropolitan areas with a lot of hustle and bustle.  But this time I decided to experience something different, a place I may not have the opportunity to visit again… but where? During a conversation with my mother, she suggested I go to the state of New Mexico, which is known for great food, friendly people and breathtaking sunsets.  Amazing sunsets, you say?  Since I was trying to broaden my horizons (pun intended), I decided “New Mexico it is!”

Being in Albuquerque and Sante Fe, NM was like visiting a foreign country, with very dry lands, cloudless baby-blue skies, unique architecture, and none of the chaos I’ve grown accustomed to in my typical cities of choice.  As I gazed at the sunset on my last evening there (my mother was right, it was amazing), I felt an appreciation not only for my fabulous travel experience, but the opportunity to do something so different.

When was the last time you tried something outside of your comfort zone? 

I believe that experiencing new things is an essential part of personal growth.   While routines ensure that necessary tasks are completed (going to work, paying bills, etc. etc.), new experiences break up the same ol’ same ol’ and add that much-needed pizzazz to everyday life.  Had the same style for years?  Grab some fashion magazines, purchase a new lipstick color, and get a fresh haircut to re-energize your look.  Taken any classes lately, just for the fun of it?  It’s amazing how learning to paint, cook, dance or speak a new language can get your creative juices flowing and perk you up in an instant.  Perhaps the adventurer in you is ready to see the world.  Save some extra cash, obtain a passport, and prepare to visit places, people and cultures you’ve only read about. 

Learning new things doesn’t have to be daunting or expensive.  But stretching yourself beyond the everyday can provide new insight and perspective, and challenge you in ways you never imagined.  I encourage you to open yourself up to new experiences as often as possible, in order to broaden your horizons.

What new experience will you have this week?